Monday, December 8, 2008
Ah whats up babes and apes!
This will be my 3rd post of the 3rd day of this blog.
I was studying for about 5 mins awhile ago when my fingers suddenly felt itchy to write this post.
Okay, this post is going to be dedicated to Musa Bin Jaapar Bin Grandfather. He's a 3 legged guy, and his third is short, but that's okay. This is dedicated to him because it is related to my topic - weight gain.
I am not a qualified trainer but i managed to gain 20kg, up from 65kg two years ago, to 85kg currently. Therefore i would like to reveal this free and tested secrets done by me before i decide to copyright this legendary methods. This is a true story.
Just to make this clear, this guy is very thin that you can pick him up to floss your teeth after eating dinner. That's how thin he is.
(Musa, in an intimate position. Not suitable for minors.)
So hopefully this post will inspire people like him ( i think he is the only one lol) to gain weight or die.
For those not keen on gaining weight, you can still read this post for general information.
The Secret Techniques Of Weight Gain:
- For breakfast, eat cereals..? hell no! How about chicken rice or mutton cakes (murtabak) for breakfast. If you do not feel full yet, have another serving or two.
- For lunch, replenish your bodily fluids with coke or iced milo followed by a plate of fried noodles. Ensure that the word "mineral water or plain water etc" is deleted from your vocabulary. When you hear people say that taboo word, act dumb and run for your life. This is because that thing will disrupt the process of this legendary technique. Then, let your food settle down in your tummy before having a smoke nearby, make sure you do it somewhere legal and not let your mom sees you smoke if you are under 18. Repeat step 2 every hour until dinner.
- For dinner, on the way home when your mom asks you whether you had lunch, use this trick - pretend that you forgot your money to bring to school and throw a tantrum signaling that you are starving. This way she would definitely prepare for you larger portions for dinner. How cool is that??
- For supper, make sure you eat a plate of rice or any carbohydrates and immediately go to sleep after the meal. This is to ensure no carbo from your intense and intimate supper is burned.
- Last and final technique, ta-dah! Exercise! But doesnt exercise burn your fats? Ans: No! Make sure to exercise those jaw muscles every minute. Ensure that you are munching on chips or a high in cholesterol chocolate bar. This way you can eat and at the same time reassure yourself that you have already exercised to strengthen your immunity system.
So kids, spread the love. Tell your friends about this. No more protein shake and weight gain sessions. Be independent and be equipped with D.I.Y yourself skills.
As the saying goes, "a bulky man, is a confident man!".
Labels: Jay jay jaafar musa kering
Signing off.. 12/08/2008 06:40:00 PM
(Musa, in an intimate position. Not suitable for minors.)